Getting to their home to drop and proceed, Jane insisted that I should get out of the car to greet he mom, routine practice, on her mother’s instruction, for any male friend. I did. I talked with Mama, telling her I had come there to see her earlier on few occasions, at the prompting my friend Tony. I departed Ikeja, promising Jane I was coming back following day.
That night I could not sleep. All I had on my mind was Jane. She had made a big impression on me. She warmed up to immediately we met, enjoying and responding to my jokes and insisting that I meet her. I was beginning to like her. I shared my feelings with my junior brother Ken, who was living with me then. He encouraged me to go ahead and go where my heart led.
Next day, December 20, 6 pm, I was at Jane’s house, greeted her mom and went into the living room to meet her. Her father had travelled to London. Christmas was approaching, and it was a period, Igbo’s of South East, Nigeria trooped home to spend the Yuletide with their families.
I was billed to travel home December 22. Incidentally her hometown was close to mine, only about six miles apart. Jane opted to travel in my car and quickly told her mom who gave her consent. After entertaining me with fried fish and snacks, I asked Jane out. She brought Frances along,I nforming her mom of the trip. That was struck me first about Jane. She told mom all her movement. I did not object. We found our way into fast food joint, bought some take- away and proceeded to my home in Okota area of Lagos. W e spent time with my brother ken before I took them back home.
On return, Ken gave his approval for me to marry Jane, saying he was impressed with her comportment. Two days, myself, Ken, and set out for our hometowns. My driver was at the steering. It was a pleasant journey. I remember going Proverbs 31 in the bible with Jane all through the journey. I told her I wanted her to be that kind of woman. She promised to be.
We dropped her at her father’s home, and proceeded to my hometown, Abagana, Anambra State, Nigeria. That night I was ready to meet with my parents who had been heckling to get married. At 34, and editor of national business magazine, my father said it was irresponsible of me to remain single. That night we returned, my parents turned on the heat: “Who is the girl?” They wanted a firm answer. I told them about Jane. “Have you proposed”? My dad enquired. “No” I replied.
“Do so immediately quickly. If she consents, then I take our family elders to go and see her parents. Following day, December 23, I was at Jane’s home, where she introduce to her other relations. That same day I propose marriage to her, five days after I met her for the first time on December 19, 1990
Next day, December 24, one day to Christmas she said, “yes.” At this moment, my father took over. First week January, 1991, he proceeded with family elders to see Jane’s parents. Eleven months after I met Jane, We wedded at St. Leo’s Catholic Church, Ikeja, Lagos.
God has blessed with us with four children, three boys and one girl (the youngest) aged five to seventeen years. We have had a good marriage so far, despite many challenges. As I look back on that fateful when the two young girls in their mid 20s, walked into my business premises, I just see the finger of God in it all.
I never believed I could propose marriage to a girl the week I met her. One day I asked why she accepted my proposal without courtship. She said I swept her off her feet. And so what was one thing about me that made her fall in love so quickly? “Your eyes,” she replied beaming. “You have big and dreamy eyes.”
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Eric Okeke is an editor, business writer, storytelling and media consultant who is using brand storytelling to improve business returns for professionals and organisations in Nigeria. You can reach him on ericosamba@yahoo.com, ericokeke@gmail.com
Monday, June 8, 2009
Branding for Marriage (1)
We finished the production of The Financial Post, a business magazine which I edited and I stepped out of the office to banter with my Arts Editor and a correspondent. We needed the time- out to ease the tension of producing more than 40 pages of the magazine every two weeks.
The job tasked our brains and sapped all our energies and creativity. And as the editor of the magazine, I made it a point of duty to relax after each production with jokes. And there we were bantering, when I noticed two girls, mid 20s, come into our business premises. The passed us by and went straight to the front-desk office.
They came to deliver an invitation letter from a bosom friend who was doing his traditional wedding. Such weddings are big events (usually coming before the church wedding) among the ethnic nationality of Igbos, in South-East, Nigeria.
As the front-desk officer pointed me out where I was standing with my colleagues, the two ladies turned and approached us. Who is Eric? Jane, who later on became my wife enquired. “That’s me,” I replied. She handed me the letter which I ripped open immediately. Behold it was my friend Tony, inviting me to his traditional wedding.
“T for Tony,” I exclaimed. “So this is it. You are finally settling down, my friend, after years of searching for a wife,” I remarked gleefully as my eyes swept through the contents of the invitation card. The usual contents were there: date, time, venue, location, family identities of groom and bride, and others.
“Oh, all my friends are settling down, I am the only the only left,” I chuckled as I folded the invitation card, and put it away in my pocket. The two ladies laughed at my remark. I quickly shifted attention to them as my colleagues melted away. It was well 5pm for the day, and it was time to go after a hard day’s work. Time for introductions: I am Jane. This is my cousin, Frances,” my wife-to-be said. But I did not know then, at that moment.
“Oh I know your elder sister Rosemary,” I said to Jane. “”Were in same campus during our undergraduate days in the university. How’s she?” I enquired.
“She’s fine. She is now married with four children,” Jane replied.
After more pleasantries, the girls wanted to leave. I persuaded to wait for me as I closed for the days.I opted to drop them at home before going for my evening fellowship. My sense of humor was evident, and Jane uncontrollably at them. I told her that’s my nature, and not to be bothered as I am rabble-rouser. She was responded with excitement that she loved humorous people. At that moment I took an intense liking for her. And I did not hide it.
The journey to their home in Ikeja area of Lagos, took about 45 minutes. Jane sat beside me in the front seat, Frances at the back seat. We talked, laughed and cracked jokes as I had known the girls for years. Not so. I had just met them some two hours ago. Jane was more vocal and outward. She spoke more than Frances who was a bit reserved.
Looking back now, 19 years later, I realize that Jane took the initiative to warm up to me ahead of Frances who is two years younger. Whether she did out of her nature or to register a strong presence in my mind as a potential bride, I do not know. What was on ground then was that I made them realize on that day we met, was that I was still single, in search of a wife. Though I did not say so directly.
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Eric Okeke is an editor, business writer, storytelling and media consultant who is using brand storytelling to improve business returns for professionals and organisations in Nigeria. You can reach him on ericosamba@yahoo.com, ericokeke@gmail.com
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The job tasked our brains and sapped all our energies and creativity. And as the editor of the magazine, I made it a point of duty to relax after each production with jokes. And there we were bantering, when I noticed two girls, mid 20s, come into our business premises. The passed us by and went straight to the front-desk office.
They came to deliver an invitation letter from a bosom friend who was doing his traditional wedding. Such weddings are big events (usually coming before the church wedding) among the ethnic nationality of Igbos, in South-East, Nigeria.
As the front-desk officer pointed me out where I was standing with my colleagues, the two ladies turned and approached us. Who is Eric? Jane, who later on became my wife enquired. “That’s me,” I replied. She handed me the letter which I ripped open immediately. Behold it was my friend Tony, inviting me to his traditional wedding.
“T for Tony,” I exclaimed. “So this is it. You are finally settling down, my friend, after years of searching for a wife,” I remarked gleefully as my eyes swept through the contents of the invitation card. The usual contents were there: date, time, venue, location, family identities of groom and bride, and others.
“Oh, all my friends are settling down, I am the only the only left,” I chuckled as I folded the invitation card, and put it away in my pocket. The two ladies laughed at my remark. I quickly shifted attention to them as my colleagues melted away. It was well 5pm for the day, and it was time to go after a hard day’s work. Time for introductions: I am Jane. This is my cousin, Frances,” my wife-to-be said. But I did not know then, at that moment.
“Oh I know your elder sister Rosemary,” I said to Jane. “”Were in same campus during our undergraduate days in the university. How’s she?” I enquired.
“She’s fine. She is now married with four children,” Jane replied.
After more pleasantries, the girls wanted to leave. I persuaded to wait for me as I closed for the days.I opted to drop them at home before going for my evening fellowship. My sense of humor was evident, and Jane uncontrollably at them. I told her that’s my nature, and not to be bothered as I am rabble-rouser. She was responded with excitement that she loved humorous people. At that moment I took an intense liking for her. And I did not hide it.
The journey to their home in Ikeja area of Lagos, took about 45 minutes. Jane sat beside me in the front seat, Frances at the back seat. We talked, laughed and cracked jokes as I had known the girls for years. Not so. I had just met them some two hours ago. Jane was more vocal and outward. She spoke more than Frances who was a bit reserved.
Looking back now, 19 years later, I realize that Jane took the initiative to warm up to me ahead of Frances who is two years younger. Whether she did out of her nature or to register a strong presence in my mind as a potential bride, I do not know. What was on ground then was that I made them realize on that day we met, was that I was still single, in search of a wife. Though I did not say so directly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eric Okeke is an editor, business writer, storytelling and media consultant who is using brand storytelling to improve business returns for professionals and organisations in Nigeria. You can reach him on ericosamba@yahoo.com, ericokeke@gmail.com
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